If you’re here reading this article, you might be in a similar position as I was last spring. Back in March, my family had just purchased a brand new patio heater. For a few nights after, we were feeling beyond joyous. However, we noticed something alarming one morning after a nice evening outside — each of my kids had at least a dozen mosquito bites. At first I was confused, but then I resolved to figure out exactly what happened. After breakfast, I immediately went upstairs and sat down at my office computer, typing in the words “do patio heaters attract bugs?” My heart sank when I first saw the results.
I remember a few years back when I invited some friends over for a labor day barbecue. My wife and I had just purchased a new house and really wanted to break it in with a major celebration. We invited our friends started getting excited for the big day. Well, the big day arrived and one of my wife’s friends brought her new boyfriend. Of course, we were happy to offer our hospitality to him and help him feel welcome. However, as I’m preparing the burgers to put on the grill, he chimes in: “You know, you shouldn’t grill under a covered porch like that.”
I responded “Oh, it’ll be fine. It’s just an awning and this is a gas grill.” But he was adamant and would. not. stop. talking about it. Finally, I moved the grill 3 feet just so he would shut up.
Later on that night, I started thinking about it. Was Larry right? Is it safe to grill under a covered porch? I did what any Captain would have done — I researched it. Now, glass of whiskey in hand, I’m happy to reporting my findings. Read on, and let’s set the record straight.
In the patio world, stamped concrete vs. pavers is a question as old as patios themselves. Which one should you choose to craft your picturesque outdoor space? Most questions like these come down to raw personal preference, but there are some considerations you should make when deciding what material to build your patio from. Namely cost, durability, and maintenance.
Let’s dive right and start shedding some light on these questions.
Ahoy! I’ve been the parent of two small children for a while now, so I understand the sheer terror felt when a two year old tries to do a flying somersault off the side of a high-backed patio chair. Let’s face it, there’s a separate set of concerns when buying patio furniture for toddlers than there is when you’re picking out a set for you and your partner (or even your dog, as I outline here).
The sheer number of options can feel overwhelming. It’s hard to But fear not, I’ve already been through the journey and now I can help you through yours. First, let’s explore what aspects to look for when picking out patio furniture for toddlers. Then I can show you the goods and tell you what my picks are!
Are you one of those people who have lived with a sticky sliding patio door for years? Honestly, the Captain was in that boat too (back when I was just an Ensign). It’s always been easy for me to let these little things slide when there are so many more important things on my old to-do list. Once I learned how easy it is to fix, I always make sure to take the 2 minutes and get my door moving again! But first, I had to learn how. So, how do you make your patio door slide easier?
Fellow patio enthusiasts, it’s getting to be that time of year. The leaves will fall, the days will get shorter, and before you know it, we’ll be deep in the throes of winter. I’ll tell you a little secret: I hate the winter-time. From December to March, I’m in a state of denial and mild sadness. This kind of mini-depression gets worse whenever I try to head outside on a cold, wet morning and am met with a frozen sliding patio door! I don’t want you, kind reader, to be in the same position I’ve been in before so I’m here to answer the question: How do you unfreeze a sliding patio door?
If you’re like the Captain, you love your canine companion as much as you love spending Sundays outside on the patio. But, you don’t want to spend that Sunday cleaning the smell of pet urine out of your pavers! Let’s face it, your little fur buddy needs a place to do his or her business. As a loving, responsible owner, it’s up to you to set that up. But don’t worry! The Captain is going to give you the information you need to give your pup a dog potty area on your patio.
What’s better than a patio at dusk in early Summer? A patio at dusk in early Summer… with a fire pit. Nothing complements a slightly cool evening better than the crackling of burning firewood in the moonlight. Let me set the scene for you — the flames dance joyously on the wall of your house, the smoldering wood fills the the air is filled with the smell of charred oak. And then… BOOM! Shrapnel falls all around you and your heart is about to burst out of your chest. The heat from your outdoor fire pit just caused your patio to explode. Is this a work of fiction, or can a fire pit damage concrete patios?
Long-time reader Stefanie H. had the same question:
Hey Captain! My wood burning fire pit is causing my grass to die and I was hoping to move it onto our patio. Is this safe?Stefanie H. Atlanta, GA.
Well Stefanie, Captain Patio is here to give you some guidance. Are you ready? The answer is… it depends. Some fire pits can seriously damage your concrete patio, others are remarkably safe. But even if you have one of the dangerous units, you can take steps to mitigate the problems.
You might live next to a busy road, have noisy barking dogs nearby, or are unfortunate enough to have neighbors that play their music too loudly. I’ve been there! My bought our first house right next to a closed down racetrack. A few months after we moved in, it opened back up! One thing is for sure, you’re here because you wish you could make your patio quieter. Outdoor spaces are much more difficult to soundproof than indoor spaces, but there are still many effective things you can do to make sure you can spend time on your patio in peace.
Back when I smoked, I walked outside one summer morning to try to get a cigarette in before work. I took it out of the pack, put it in my mouth, fired up the lighter and — boom. All I could smell was the sickly ammonia of dog pee on my back patio. I had to face facts: my patio smelled like urine. To add insult to injury, I didn’t even have a dog at the time!